Weird Noises and Fart Sounds

..Now that’s out of the way - an important announcement - right after the jump.

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Can't we just be friends?

Well I can’t really call this a rant, and before people get up in arms about which I feel is better, I’ll disappoint you all RIGHT now.

They are BOTH great games.

Right…Are the fanboys gone? …oh good they have lost interest.

Read more after the jump!

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Durr…

…I’m excited.

OH LORD SOMEONE LET Team Fortress 2 OUT OF ITS CAGE.

IRON MAAN.

Check out the other gems after the JUUUMP.

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So, rarely I pick up and play a game just because someone told me I was retarded for not having played it. So I grabbed a copy of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney and stole my girlfriends DS. (Yes, it is hers. Shut up.)

The game is basically a graphic novel that you get to control - generally you play as the rookie lawyer Phoenix Wright, and solve crimes and such and so forth.

And it is stupidly fun.

I mean seriously, how you question people is just fun, with the clever and witty writing of the characters, and visually watching witnesses start to sweat on the stand as you pick apart their testimony is amazingly satisfying - but I am not going to lie, there are a few frustrating parts. I not going to spoil anything, but at a particular part you are actually REQUIRED TO FAIL to continue with the court case. So I exhausted every avenue, presented all evidence, questioned every goddamn thing the lying bastard said and got NOTHING, and all I needed was to GIVE UP before the game progressed. And I had to discover that in a playguide. I feel dirty.

But I just can’t stop playing.

Bonus easter egg: Click the main image of Phoenix Wright to make your very own web ‘OBJECTION!’ and send it to your friends. Like this one.

I’ll have to be honest here, I had not shown alot of interest in Fallout 3 until I had seen some of the junk members of the modding community had done - and to be even honest-er* I showed even less interest when I found that buying a copy for PC in my dingy little corner of the world was about as difficult as dipping your balls in honey and avoiding bees in spring.

Not that I have ever done that, mind.

But after finding an exceptionally rare copy of the game at my local EB, (which is inhabited by some very magical and friendly folk, who make hundreds of dollars vanish from my credit card ever other week - and I am okay with that) I umm’ed and ahhh’ed and eventually decided it was time to see what all the fuss was about.

I must be some kind of super idiot for not picking it up sooner. Within an hour of starting the game, I had drank from a very unsanitary, and colourful…toilet.

Radioactive Toilet....DETECTED.

Who would have thought “Activating” a toilet would make me crouch and take a hearty and audible SLURP. And here I was, stupidly trying to empty my bladder.

After killing a legion of Mad Maxx style punk rock cannibal men in a local supermarket, dressed in police riot gear and a Jason Voorhees hockey mask, I found myself slurping away at every toilet and sink I could find, and throwing the ever growing surplus of grenades I found hidden in every drawer and metal box at local wildlife.

I even found myself flinging open other toilet stall doors, hoping to find a golden toilet to drink from that may bestow me some kind of greater super power - but no such luck.

Kicking the doors in, Action hero style.

It was right about this point that I realised I was thoroughly enjoying myself - and it had also dawned on me that the game had barely started. There was still a wealth of content ready for me to unravel and NOM upon like some kind of boiled sweet that small children are usually forbidden from enjoying before bed. I was getting very excited, considering I had just finished getting severe radiation poison for a nice lady I met in a shanty town, when I headed off towards my next adventure to dance in a mine field for the same nice lady that asked me to poison myself.

When suddenly, while enjoying the incredible landscape - the game froze.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t mad though. I had just saved after a rather big trip, so nothing was lost - and it gave me the time I needed to take that long overdue toilet break I was meaning to enjoy several hours BEFORE I had decided to install the game.

Plus, it was nice enough to freeze at a particular pretty scene, so it wasn’t too infuriating.

I didnt realise if I missed a TF2-uesday I’d get an angry email. So time for a quick Team Fortress 2 Screenshot!

...Yeeeeeeees?

Promise next Tuesday will have some more screenshots - I wish to showcase glitches next week.

Til next TF2-uesday…
M0D3Rn IS CREDIT TO TEEEAM.

I'm not falling for THAT again.

Anyone who has any sense at all will be following the E3 newscasts these past few days and will know by now the thrilling news - New monkey island games!

This continuation of the classic adventure series will be called “Tales of Monkey Island”, and it will be a 5-part episodic game for both the PC and the Wii. All of your favorite characters are back, including the mysterious Voodoo lady, the evil LeChuck, the bumbling Guybrush Threepwood and his true love Elaine. A lot of the original designers and writers behind the first Monkey Island games are back for this new installment, which will hopefully ensure this is a worthy continuation of the series.

Why are you still reading my MONKEYLESS blog?

Go, read the rest of the article at I4U! Click here! NOW.

Team Fortress 2 screenshots, AGAIN!?

OH GOD MY FREAKING NECK, WHYYYY

See some more screens after the jump!

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